Match Report: Leverkusen (A)

Pre-match

Away days sound great in theory, but sometimes a 6am start of a cold Autumn morning feels quite rough in practice.

Following a successful end of season away trip to Augsburg, us Internationals had long pencilled this trip to Leverkusen in our diaries.

A good group of seven travelled together on a train that was somehow delayed before it even started.

I was feeling restrained and had bought two small cans of beer for the trip. I was this surprised and a little alarmed to see another of our number struggling through Ostbahnhof with at least 15 bottles in a bag.

He left everyone a welcome breakfast pack in the form of a cold beer tucked into everyone's seat pocket. My liver broke into a cold sweat.

Compared to the debauched madness of the Augsburg train, today's trip through driving rain to Wuppertal was positively serene and classy. Somebody baked muffins and cookies. It's a travel experience I can get behind.

Time warps horribly when you start drinking at 8am, so it was a surprise to find ourselves rolling four beers deep off the train at noon.

We stopped for a pretty excellent pizza with a view of the majestic Schwebebahn, before hopping on the swinging, elephant-worrying contraption to our next connection at Vohwinkel.

The Train Whisperer spent the trip on the fucking awesome machine chuntering bitterly about it being a crime against god and nature, but if you do find yourself in Wuppertal, highly recommend.

At Vohwinkel we walked, unexpectedly, past a lone Hertha fan smoking outside a warehouse. He either said hello or told us to piss off, not sure.

We made it to Leverkusen's Aspirin-themed bowl in plenty of time, sacrificing a well travelled and clearly highly dangerous Penguin chocolate bar to the security frisk.

We took our seats high up in the corner of what is a pretty nice stadium.

The sun was shining by now, and the Unioner were in good voice.

The team included Jeong for Ansah and Schäfer for Haberer, the former a bit of a surprise.

Summer teenage signing Bogdanov was on the bench, interesting to see if he will get some time soon.

Leverkusen's theme tune is god awful and lasts forever, some kind of ode to Ibuprofen probably.

First Half

Union in baby blue came to counter, happy to let Leverkusen have the ball. Leverkusen have improved - how could they not - since the Erik Ten Hag debacle.

They have sold a lot of stars but are still a very nice team to watch, Union chasing shadows in the opening exchanges without much threat from the home side.

Jeong went down off the ball, but recovered to carry on.

Our counter plan so nearly came off after 12 minutes, Ilic winning a flick on and breaking in behind the defence. He was obviously pulled back but managed to stab forward for Jeong, whose shot from the edge of the box was dangerous but well saved.

A big chance gone.

Other than that we caused a couple of nervy moments from corners, one falling to Doekhi who skewed a snap chance wide from a presentable position.

For their part, Leverkusen were working the ball nicely and afflicted with a tendency to absolutely welly it into the stands when presented with shooting opportunities.

Schäfer was particularly snappy, but with two in midfield it was again very easy for our opponents to burst through and run at the defence.

Leverkusen looked the more likely, but the eventual goal was farcical from Union's perspective.

Köhn was released on the left and made a marauding run forward from the halfway line.

He hesitated when space was opening up, and Leverkusen half cleared. The ball came to a Leverkusen midfielder who got absolutely but fairly flattened by Leite.

With everyone expecting a whistle, Union just stopped, Khedira not reacting to Leite's pass.

Leverkusen pounced on it gleefully and broke with a few Union players stranded upfield.

The ball came to the right edge of the box where a low cross was turned in from about six yards. Freddie got a hand but couldn't stop it going in.

The game got more spicy as we approached half time, Union still not playing much on the ground but winning a few niggly free kicks.

A corner came in and left a Leverkusen player on the turf. Given that he appeared to be out cold, some of our chants were pretty uncharitable and created some animosity with the home fans.

Half time came with us behind and looking a little short of ideas.

Second Half

The anticipated comeback didn't exactly emerge in the second half. Leverkusen were again on the front foot.

Ilic in particular was well shackled by the centre backs after being similarly marshaled by Vuskovic last week.

When nothing sticks to Ilic we struggle, and today I felt like LeverkusenaAlways left one or two back to handle the counter.

Things got worse not far into the half. Doekhi put some fizz on a backpass to Rønnow, but shanking it directly to the Leverkusen striker in the box was the last thing anyone expected.

Our Danish Gott proved himself to be human just this once, the delighted attacker rounding him with ease to finish.

We had already had a big scare when Leverkusen broke on us and squared for what looked like a sure-fire goal from the edge of the box, the midfielder striding into the shot perfectly and arcing a beautiful, curling strike a good 15 yards wide and over. A genuinely artistic piece of ineptitude.

Union changed personnel but not so much the system. Ansah came on and at least got on the ball, but he was also well-marked by Leverkusen.

We actually conceded a third, losing the ball on the edge of Leverkusen's box and realising that pretty much everyone was forward.

Leverkusen galloped away about 5 on 1, a threaded pass well finished, but somehow they managed to stray offside and it came back.

It was clearly not going to be our day, and the game petered out in the final stages, the result very much settled. After Kemlein came in we did start playing the ball around which caused some mild panic, it would have been nice to see more.

Leverkusen are a good side, but we really gifted this win to them, and it was a touch worrying that we didn't have much of a fallback plan.

For me we're still playing with too few in midfield. But what do I know.

The DB gods were smiling on us on the way back, managing to make swift tracks back to Leverkusen-Manfort (via a Späti, naturlich) and a return to the wonderful future-town of Wuppertal.

It's worth noting that we could have been sensible at this point, but instead with 25 minutes before the ICE we were cajoled into a nearby Kneipe for another swift half or two.

Everyone in the bar, including the staff, were playing some kind of dice game, except us. One wall was lined with fruit machines in various states of repair. The place was huge but everyone crammed into about 10% of the space.

A surreal and wonderful place where 4 beers got change from a tenner. Excellent stuff. With maybe 10 minutes before our train, two decided that the initial small beer was not enough, and accidentally ordered a followup large beer.

As I said, we could have been sensible. We could have, for example, bought food for the 4.5 hour journey ahead.

We were not sensible. We did not buy food. There were no regrets.

One of the large-beer-neckers peaked just before the train, barreled through every carriage sing-shouting Union songs, spread bonhomie and then passed out for three hours in the ICE Bistro.

Apart from those wanting a well earned rest, the remainder of us kept an eye on sleeping beauty in the Bistro for the whole trip, and what a pleasant way to spend an evening. Good chats, lots of laughs. Away days aren't really about the football. You spend two hours watching the game but 16 hours with your mates.

The journey was again fairly smooth, the Bistro booth comfy, lots of people coming and going and one couple snogging like teenagers right in the middle of the carriage and across from us, for at least 4 hours.

At one point a man in what I can only describe as a wet look tactical waistcoat sauntered up to said snoggers, sat down next to them, and started pulling bag of nuts out of his wet look tactical waistcoat pockets, like a combat squirrel.

We rolled back into Berlin close to midnight, lots of bleary eyes on view from a long day.

The game itself was rather meh, but it's not the point. The day out was great, a day to crisscross the country with your mates where there happens to be a football game.

Points come and go but we'll always have Wuppertal. Nobody can take the Schwebebahn away from us.

To the next away trip soon!

Eisern!

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By @MarkJB on Bluesky